My Cassandra Complex

At the risk of overstating my role in the world, lately I’m feeling a whole lot like Cassandra. My life, for two decades, echoes the curse of Cassandra with unfortunate precision.

In Greek mythology, Cassandra was a Trojan princess granted the gift of prophecy by the god Apollo. Yet, when she spurned his advances, he cursed her: her visions would always be true, but no one would believe them. She foretold the fall of Troy and predicted her own tragic end — yet she was dismissed as hysterical.

This “Curse of Cassandra” embodies the agony of speaking truths too soon, only to face isolation, ridicule and no vindication.

At the risk of overstating my role in the world, lately I’m feeling a whole lot like Cassandra. My life, for two decades, echoes this curse with unfortunate precision. And it’s giving me a bit of a complex. A Cassandra Complex.

I was a former elite level gymnast and the 1986 U.S. national champion. I experienced the sport’s brutal underbelly firsthand — emotional and physical abuse, eating disorders, and a culture that silenced sexual abuse victims to protect the reputations of pedophile coaches.

I was the first high level gymnast to expose these systemic issues in my 2008 memoir Chalked Up, which detailed how coaches’ verbal and physical cruelty was normalized in the sport. Years before the Larry Nassar scandal erupted, I spoke out against the enabling environment in USA Gymnastics that allowed predators to thrive. I was attacked as a grifter and a liar, my warnings dismissed by the establishment, my reputation smeared by my own teammates, both national and club.

In 2018, when Nassar’s abuses were proven, with over 150 survivors testifying, leading to his conviction and life imprisonment, I was vindicated. I went on to produce the Emmy-winning documentary Athlete A chronicling the horrors of this serial pedophile and the culture that enabled his decades long abuse of hundreds of young athletes.

Teammates who had attacked me when I first came forward pretended that they had always stood with me. But I’ll never forget the way that they sold out children for their own comfort and continued inclusion in the community. When they attacked me and then pretended to support me — they did what was expedient. They had no principles or moral courage. In fact, many erased any evidence of having come for me. Their one-star reviews of my book on Amazon — brutal, hurtful and untrue takedowns — are gone. There is very little trace of the harassment and vilification. Funny that, huh?

But it’s ok. I didn’t speak up because I wanted applause. I spoke up because I didn’t want another child to go through what I’d gone through. There was nothing in it for me. Only the knowledge that I’d done everything I could do to save the next generation of athletes from the emotional and physical abuse — and the years of recovery — that I’d endured.

History repeated during covid. By 2020, I had everything to lose. I was the long tenured Chief Marketing Officer and soon to be President of a Fortune 500 company. I’d spent thirty years building a career that I loved. I won every award you could possibly win in business. I was one of the top 50 CMOs two years in a row and I was named one of the most influential people in music and fashion by Billboard Magazine. But as the mother of three public school children and one more who would be a public school student soon, I couldn’t stay quiet. From day one of lockdowns, I pushed back against public school closures making the case that they harmed children’s mental health, education and overall development.

I tweeted, wrote op-eds, led protests and appeared on local TV, urging that playgrounds reopen and schools get back in session. I attended school board meetings (virtually) and listened in while the board went on for 8 hours about re-naming schools while they never talked about opening the schools they insisted needed to be re-named because . . . “racism.” I frantically commented in the chat — “when are we going to talk about actually opening the schools” — but went unacknowledged.

For all of this, I was branded a “covid denier,” a murderer and a racist. And of course, once again, a grifter. (This seems to be the favorite go-to to smear for people who the conformists just don’t understand. It’s un-thinkable that someone might stand on principle to them.) People chased me down the street in San Francisco just to tell me they didn’t care if my children died.

In February 2022, I resigned from my job (and yes, I had become the President of the brand that I’d loved for decades). I left San Francisco to avoid being harassed on the streets and so that my children could attend school without onerous and harmful restrictions.

I sacrificed an award-winning career that I’d spent decades building. I lost friends and the home that I loved.

Time proved me right: studies now confirm school closures exacerbated learning loss, caused persistent emotional harm and led to chronic absenteeism that continues today. And it was all for naught — these harms inflicted on children saved no one from getting covid.

Yet, no apologies came. No reversal of my “cancellation.”

My prescience earned me only exile.

In interviewing for a CEO job in 2023 I was asked if I would apologize for what I’d done.

“No,” I said. “I was right about everything.”

As the breadwinner in my family, I need to work. But I’d committed the crime of disobedience.

I was kicked out of corporate America forever. My skills didn’t matter. The awards, the results, none of it mattered.

All that mattered was that I spoke up too soon. A punishable offense.

So I decided to do it all over again.

I founded XX-XY Athletics in 2024 — a brand celebrating female athletes, acknowledging biological reality and advocating for fair competition for women and girls.

I continue to argue that allowing males to compete in the women’s category disadvantages females, risking their safety and opportunities — echoing my fight against harms to girls in gymnastics.

In this fight, I am not first. Far from it. But I’ve added my voice in a loud and accretive way — through a brand that is influencing the cultural conversation. I want to make it cool to say the obvious: there are only two sexes, boys can’t become girls and girls deserve their own sports and spaces.

It is a zero sum game. When boys and men are prioritized, their feelings put first, it takes dignity and opportunity from girls and women.

XX-XY Athletics’ first ad was banned from TikTok in June 2024 as “hate speech.” We are permanently suspended from advertising on the platform.

We continue to be barred from media — The New York Times has refused our advertising and our ads are rejected by major networks including ABC and CBS unless we make major modifications that diminish and soften our message.

Still, I keep fighting. XX-XY Athletics is suing the state of Colorado where “misgendering” is a crime. We correctly “gender” every day by using biologically correct pronouns.

I’ve been called a grifter more times than I can count. I have a very committed stalker. And I gave up millions in future earnings along with the prestige of leading a Fortune 500 company just to do the right thing.

There has been no career boost, no social capital. Only ostracization.

What drives me? Not faith — I am an atheist. It’s a secular moral imperative: protecting children from harm.

I have foreseen dangers to the vulnerable and I have voiced them without hesitation, enduring retribution every time. But unlike the myth of Cassandra, my story isn’t fatalistic. I hope it inspires action. And resilience. And the moral courage to do the right thing, to stand up for children, no matter the cost.

Speaking up first is risky — jobs lost, relationships fractured, reputations destroyed. And there may never be any poetic justice. I’ve seen no evidence that karma is real.

Yet, I continue to believe that history bends towards the truth. If more parents, leaders, professionals, and every day folks take the leap, ignoring the curse’s potential sting, we can avert disasters before they unfold.

Don’t wait for permission or reward; do it because it’s right. In a world quick to cancel those who speak up early, be the one who speaks up.

Bravely join the chorus. We are going to win.

And I know, that together we simply cannot lose.