The snubbers say it may be time to stop snubbing

But we're doing fine without them

Former Obama speechwriter David Litt has a new book out called “It’s Only Drowning: A True Story of Learning to Surf and the Search for Common Ground.”

The memoir details his unlikely friendship forged through surfing with his brother in law. The writer went to fancy schmancy Dalton and then Yale. The brother in law (I’ll call him BIL) is an electrician. And a really good surfer. Litt looks down on his BIL because BIL listens to Joe Rogan, likes heavy metal music and didn’t get the covid vaccine.

Litt opens an opinion piece in today’s New York Times as follows: “Not too long ago, I felt a civic duty to be rude to my wife’s younger brother.”

Nice guy! I wonder how his sister felt about that? Sadly, I’m guessing she might have been on board.

Litt goes on:

“I met Matt Kappler in 2012, and it was immediately clear we had nothing in common. He lifted weights to death metal; I jogged to Sondheim. I was one of President Barack Obama’s speechwriters and had an Ivy League degree; he was a huge Joe Rogan fan and went on to get his electrician’s license [. . .] Then the pandemic hit, and our preferences began to feel like more than differences in taste. We were on opposite sides of a cultural civil war. The deepest divide was vaccination [. . .] Had Matt been a friend rather than a family member, I probably would have cut off contact completely. As it was, on the rare and always outdoor occasions when we saw each other, I spoke in disapproving snippets [. . .] My frostiness wasn’t personal. It was strategic. Being unfriendly to people who turned down the vaccine felt like the right thing to do. How else could we motivate them to mend their ways?”

Cut to: Litt wants to learn to surf during covid. BIL is a good surfer. They start to surf together. They go on to take surfing trips together all over the world (which seems a little odd and annoying for the wives left at home . . . is surf widow a thing?)

Litt decides maybe he doesn’t have to hate his BIL while maintaining that he is better than the guy in all ways except surfing.

The whole thing is just so gross. Litt basically reaches the conclusion that shunning is counter productive and that by shunning the bad people, the bad people just become worse people in their alt-right Rogan induced echo chambers. So in the same way he felt it was his civic duty to snub his brother in law, he now sees it as his civic duty to condescend to engaging the BIL in the hopes of preventing him from becoming a full on Nazi, I guess.

At no point in the oped entitled Is It Time to Stop Snubbing Your Right-Wing Family? does Litt acknowledge that he was a close-minded insufferable prick for being rude to his wife’s younger brother and feeling darned proud of himself for it. I’m assuming there is no such acknowledgement in the book either but I haven’t read it and won’t.

Litt simply decides that though he’s right to look at his BIL as an ignorant rube, the guy is good at surfing and they can enjoy that together and maybe Litt will convince the dope to come into the light at some point.

At no point in the telling of their surf friendship (which is also explained in The Free Press in an excerpt of the book) does BIL seem to express an ounce of disdain or condescension towards Litt. He comes across as good-natured and actually accepting of difference.

I prefer electrician BIL to Dalton/Yale/speechwriter any day of the week. I don’t surf, or listen to Rogan, or lift weights rocking out to heavy metal but I’m sure he’s more fun. And I’m sure he isn’t looking down his nose at everyone all the time. I’m sure he is a very decent human being who would help out a neighbor in need. At least that is how he comes across in Litt’s own telling.

The entire tale gives massive credence to the idea that the non-far left (whether they are “right-wing,” independent, conservative, MAGA, Libertarian, Republican or whatever) are way more accepting and inclusive of others than the left is. Which I did not used to think and I don’t think was true 20 years ago but certainly seems to be now.

Despite the “radical inclusion” that the lefties preach, they are the ones cutting off friends and family. I’ve literally never heard a story of a person cutting off a family member because they voted for Biden. Have you? If so, do tell.

How on earth did the Dalton/Yale cohort become the ones thinking they are “inclusive”? I went to Stanford. I know these people. They aren’t the inclusive ones. They are the snobs. They are the I’m better than you people. Maybe they aren’t snobs about material things like handbags and houses. But they are about ideas and people. Some people are just to be looked down upon because of what they think. Or what their job is. Or how they worship. Or that they worship at all.

I reject them.

They are the rules for thee but not for me people. They are the luxury beliefs people.

In case you haven’t heard the term luxury beliefs, it was coined by writer and academic Rob Henderson and, according to his definition, luxury beliefs are ideas or opinions held primarily by the affluent or elite that signal their social status but often have little practical cost to themselves while potentially harming those of lower socioeconomic classes. The beliefs function as a form of social signaling, demonstrating moral or intellectual superiority, rather than being rooted in practical consequences for the believer.

Examples include:

• Advocating for policies like defunding the police while living in safe, gated communities.

• Promoting open borders while being insulated from the economic and social impacts.

• Endorsing extreme environmentalist views while maintaining a high-consumption lifestyle like flying private or just flying often.

• Advocating against school choice while sending their own children to expensive private schools.

The concept critiques how such ideas can serve as status symbols rather than genuine solutions.

“Elites” like Litt whose education at Dalton and Yale cost about $1.5M rail against elitism while demanding we respect the elite’s expertise. Do they not hear themselves?!

Anyway, the entire premise of Litt’s pretend confessional memoir seems to be: we, your betters, forgive you for your ignorance. We realize shunning you just made you worse. You can’t help that Rogan has rotted your brain. You didn’t go to college! You’re defenseless! Or if you did, you were brainwashed! Besides, shunning you hasn’t caused you to repent and get 10x boosted. So you’ll be better off if I deign to speak with you and then maybe just maybe there’s a chance I can convince you to see the error of your ways.

What Litt and people like him don’t seem to understand — and I realize my “pedigree” puts me more in line with the Litts of the world than the BILs but his snootiness and utterly misguided confidence that he is always right is what drove me away — we no longer want to talk to you. Sure you may have us. But we didn’t do anything to you and you did shun us and now we are fine without you. We are disappointed in you for being such assholes. We don’t need your condescending charity.

The oped is written with such a you know what I mean nod to The New York Times readers. It’s like he’s saying: c’mon guys we can bring them along!

But they are having no part of it. They are standing their ground in hating all family members who think and vote differently than they do! They are standing on principle! They are not having any part of Litt’s I guess I can tolerate you generosity. Here’s just a few of the 625 comments which all mostly amount to No Fucking Way.

Robert from Westchester, NY — we don’t think you’re good people either. We’re not dying to get back in your good graces. We don’t want to have dinner with you all that much. But, we will help you out if you have a flat tire or need someone to feed your cats while you’re away or need a ride to the hospital when a relative is sick or maybe you’re sick and need some help. We can do that. Because we are nice and that is how we roll.