Last night, the Frugal Muse bookstore in Darien, Illinois hosted me for a reading and Q&A for my book, Levi’s Unbuttoned. It was a lovely crowd. Except that one person.
Back when I was on Facebook, probably 8+ years ago, I was initially hesitant to block anyone. When I finally blocked my first person, the joy was amazing! Now, on Twitter, I no longer have any trepidation. Mute first and ask questions later! #QuickTrigger
What a night! I’m even more inspired after seeing you in action with that troll. In order to have meaningful/difficult conversations, both sides need to assume positive intent. You demonstrated that beautifully. I wish that person had reciprocated. How cool would that conversation have been?!
Amazing. And pitiful. Amazingly pitiful! Not you. Her. The really sad part? I have friends, many of whom might agree with her. When the orthodoxy has this much sticking power, we have a tough row to hoe. 🤷🏿♂️
Read this during Bible study this morning: "Don't answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are." Proverbs 26:4 . In today's world troll = fool.
You handled it well, you’re a real pro. I hope you are calm now after this shitty storm, these interruptions are coming to test us... so good to read how you kept your cool. And you answered her so politely in the end - I’m sure she didn’t know what to do with herself.
I would rather be boring AF than rude AF. Kudos to you for maintaining your poise. All of those years of performing under immense pressure served you well against that troll!
I wish I would have known you were in the area! I’m a big fan and only about 20 minutes away. Would have loved to non-confrontationally hassled the heckler!
I have a Twitter account but don’t monitor it. Just went there to find Lizzy. Also looked to FB to see if you may have posted there. While I was there I hit the Friend request.
Funny I had to Google AF to find out what it meant🤪🤪🤪. Even then her statement lacked meaning.
Great job handling! As hard as it is, I think keeping your cool as you did in the face of a troll/heckler serves to strengthen your position. Thanks for sharing your experience! You're an incredible role model for women, and for men, on so many levels. Continue to Sey everything - your perspective always resonates with me, and I'm sure with so many others.
Jennifer, you are such an incredible role model. Even if someone does not agree with you, the fact that you stand up for what you believe in and stand your ground is incredibly commendable. And for anyone with school aged children, the effects from lockdown have been traumatic and lingering. I lived through lockdown in San Francisco and watched my son suffer and his friends suffer as school and sports and friends gathering ended overnight! For 2 years! It has been catastrophic. Thank you for being so brave ❤️
I've had many trolls on my YouTube channel, Trans Widow Ute Heggen. I've been told several times which method I should off myself, that I failed my crossdressing husband when I asked him to leave (his secrets involved money and gay bars) and they've said outrageous things about my appearance, as I look like a normal woman in her late 60s. I block them from the channel. If I did any author interviews for my memoir, In the Curated Woods, True Tales from a Grass Widow (iuniverse, 2022) I would have to hire security. My next book will contain the shocking data from 45+ trans widows who answered by survey, 20 Questions to Ask a Trans Widow. Of 45 honest, genuine replies, 17 were sexually assaulted by crossdressing hubby, 3 rapes, all unreported. 18 of 45 went through a period of living below the poverty line after we split, as he (though not unemployed, typically) refused to pay child support. They asked the children to call him 'Mom" and told the children to call mom by her first name. This is looking like a very common pattern. The woke mob does not like statistics.
Blocking those who've nothing but insults to offer, is much different than blocking those who have something substantive to quibble about. The former is justifiable boundary setting, the latter would indeed be echo chamber building - which I doubt you would engage in, by the sounds of things.
Of course, this is the world we now live in, but it doesn't mean we should become it's willing victims, to appease the hoards of trolls and radicals out there. Too many have wilted or succumbed, in the face of these cowardly ankle bitters, which is what has allowed their gangrenous ranks to swell - spreading their stench far and wide.
Your stand and integrity, in this episode, is much appreciated. Let's hope it's an example to all who read this account and were at the event, that night.
Trolls, left or right, aren't about you. They're about them. Block them and move on.
Good advice.
Back when I was on Facebook, probably 8+ years ago, I was initially hesitant to block anyone. When I finally blocked my first person, the joy was amazing! Now, on Twitter, I no longer have any trepidation. Mute first and ask questions later! #QuickTrigger
What a night! I’m even more inspired after seeing you in action with that troll. In order to have meaningful/difficult conversations, both sides need to assume positive intent. You demonstrated that beautifully. I wish that person had reciprocated. How cool would that conversation have been?!
Amazing. And pitiful. Amazingly pitiful! Not you. Her. The really sad part? I have friends, many of whom might agree with her. When the orthodoxy has this much sticking power, we have a tough row to hoe. 🤷🏿♂️
Block. Yes block. Not worth your time.
Read this during Bible study this morning: "Don't answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are." Proverbs 26:4 . In today's world troll = fool.
You handled it well, you’re a real pro. I hope you are calm now after this shitty storm, these interruptions are coming to test us... so good to read how you kept your cool. And you answered her so politely in the end - I’m sure she didn’t know what to do with herself.
Xo
Looking forward to delivery of your book on Sunday!
I would rather be boring AF than rude AF. Kudos to you for maintaining your poise. All of those years of performing under immense pressure served you well against that troll!
Sounds like they call her the Beast for a good reason🤪🤪🤪! Whenever you get back to Chicagoland (but not the actual city🤪🤪) let me know.
I wish I would have known you were in the area! I’m a big fan and only about 20 minutes away. Would have loved to non-confrontationally hassled the heckler!
Bummer! I shared on twitter but not here!
I have a Twitter account but don’t monitor it. Just went there to find Lizzy. Also looked to FB to see if you may have posted there. While I was there I hit the Friend request.
Funny I had to Google AF to find out what it meant🤪🤪🤪. Even then her statement lacked meaning.
Great job handling! As hard as it is, I think keeping your cool as you did in the face of a troll/heckler serves to strengthen your position. Thanks for sharing your experience! You're an incredible role model for women, and for men, on so many levels. Continue to Sey everything - your perspective always resonates with me, and I'm sure with so many others.
Letting the remarks be as they quickly lose their liveliness--"shouting into the proverbial wind"--is a good approach.
Also, a bookstore is an awkward place to make an attempt at heckling.
Jennifer, you are such an incredible role model. Even if someone does not agree with you, the fact that you stand up for what you believe in and stand your ground is incredibly commendable. And for anyone with school aged children, the effects from lockdown have been traumatic and lingering. I lived through lockdown in San Francisco and watched my son suffer and his friends suffer as school and sports and friends gathering ended overnight! For 2 years! It has been catastrophic. Thank you for being so brave ❤️
Thank you. 🙏🏻
I've had many trolls on my YouTube channel, Trans Widow Ute Heggen. I've been told several times which method I should off myself, that I failed my crossdressing husband when I asked him to leave (his secrets involved money and gay bars) and they've said outrageous things about my appearance, as I look like a normal woman in her late 60s. I block them from the channel. If I did any author interviews for my memoir, In the Curated Woods, True Tales from a Grass Widow (iuniverse, 2022) I would have to hire security. My next book will contain the shocking data from 45+ trans widows who answered by survey, 20 Questions to Ask a Trans Widow. Of 45 honest, genuine replies, 17 were sexually assaulted by crossdressing hubby, 3 rapes, all unreported. 18 of 45 went through a period of living below the poverty line after we split, as he (though not unemployed, typically) refused to pay child support. They asked the children to call him 'Mom" and told the children to call mom by her first name. This is looking like a very common pattern. The woke mob does not like statistics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA_5p3yI7d0&t=292s
Well done Ma'am!!
The front door analogy is spot on.
Blocking those who've nothing but insults to offer, is much different than blocking those who have something substantive to quibble about. The former is justifiable boundary setting, the latter would indeed be echo chamber building - which I doubt you would engage in, by the sounds of things.
Of course, this is the world we now live in, but it doesn't mean we should become it's willing victims, to appease the hoards of trolls and radicals out there. Too many have wilted or succumbed, in the face of these cowardly ankle bitters, which is what has allowed their gangrenous ranks to swell - spreading their stench far and wide.
Your stand and integrity, in this episode, is much appreciated. Let's hope it's an example to all who read this account and were at the event, that night.
Best regards,
CTD