As an anorexic teenage gymnast, my disordered and self-destructive behaviors were endorsed and furthered by all of the adults in my life, viewed as a necessary sacrifice to win.
As the coach of a very large state-level successful high school girls cross country team in an affluent community for nearly a decade, I found the prevalence of eating disorders to be like dandelions. They sprang up everywhere, and they multiplied hyper-exponentially. Having once been anorexic myself, I went in with eyes open, well-equipped (I thought) and on mission to help, and still, I got schooled.
Where was the source? Peer pressure? Yes. Social media? Yes. Parental performance pressure (often cruelly vicarious)? Yes. Aspirations to college scholarships? Yes. Latchkey kids looking for meaning & belonging & attention? Yes. Social contagion? Yes. Avoidance of puberty and all its hassles? Yes. An alternative to suicide? Yes, although sadly, some took a more direct route.
It was like trying to hold back the sea.
Ultimately, these young women (and men too--runners, wrestlers, etc.) try to establish their identity (and affirmation) in and by their performance, atoning, impressing, achieving. This is the way of the world: endless mountains to climb--athletics, career, whatever. And then you die.
Christ Jesus says something different. He already did the ultimate performance, on the cross. He already solved mankind's greatest problem, the source of all heartache: alienation and separation from God.
“Come to Me," He says. "all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
All of this. I counted calories. Starved myself. Wrapped myself in plastic wrap and ran or rode the bike to drop weight. As a gymnast, I controlled my weight by over-exercising and under eating. When gymnastics ended, I became bulimic. I told a counselor about my life as a gymnast and she was shocked and stunned by the fact that no one intervened or thought it was crazy. Hell, at the time, I thought it was normal (as you said). To this day, I have body issues. I am 53 years old and still get disgusted when I look in the mirror. And I am not overweight by any stretch of the imagination. Thank you for sharing, Jen. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story, Jennifer. Why do we keep repeating the same mistakes that harm children? Doctors who injected you with steroids then are injecting kids with puberty blockers now. Parents who went along with child abuse then are going along with it now. The Aztecs used to perform child sacrifice to appease the weather gods, now climate alarmists are urging birth strikes and abortions to save the planet from climate change. Despite all of the technology and access to information, hysterias will continue to grip our species.
I will share your story, it needs to be heard! There are so many parallels to what is happening to children today by affirming something that is so clearly not healthy. Thank you for speaking out, your voice is so valuable!!
I remember Donna Strauss telling me my 11 year old daughter was fat because she had 9% body fat. I just laughed in her face. Then I said I’d bring her to her pediatrician and ask him what he thought and if he and I agreed that my 78 pound daughter was overweight only then would we discuss her weight. Of course I never bothered. I knew my daughter was healthy. I fed her healthy foods and she never got injured. In my opinion, the Parkettes’ ownership was skewed on Donna’s view of her own body dismorphia. Someone that obsessed has problems of her own. But, she had no right to shove her own body image problems on children. I also can’t believe that the Safe Sports investigation has taken this long.
I never would have guessed it would be so explicit. It might still be child abuse if it was all done through implicit suggestions, but then I could at least understand how coaches and parents could fool themselves into thinking they weren't doing anything wrong. But how do you call a skinny little girl a pig and not realize that you are doing something terrible?
Jeezy, peezy, this was powerful. I had no idea this was going on. But the parallels are so revealing. Thank you for using your megaphone to protect kids and taking the flack for it. My kids are in their 20s and I don't have grandchildren yet, but keep going! You just may help save my unborn grandchildren!
I was bulimic from 19 to 31. This began in the age of Twiggy. Getting past this and eating normally was THE hardest thing I have ever done. This was before widely available treatment options. It was me and God. Thank you for your story.
Thank you for telling this story. We have to continue speaking out against these harms to our children. I often use the example of eating disorders when trying to show the absurdity of "affirming" gender dysphoria. To no avail yet, but I won't stop trying.
Wow!! Thanks so much for sharing!! Man, the Kool Aid comes in so many ways in our lives.
Do you hear much about anorexia/bulimia behavior nowadays? It seems like the only youth disorder is sex identity confusion. This unfortunately takes the focus away from the other, probably more real and damaging, conditions.
It continues with the current corrupt medical and psychological treatment system all in now with promoting and profiting from trans treatment, grooming and mutilations on children. Why I know because my family is trapped in this nightmare with my 16 yo granddaughter who had her breasts removed at 16 last year. She’s a man now? This is just another step in the child sacrifice world of the west now.
Back in the eighties, being anorexic was kind of in vogue. Every camp or school class had a few. They seemed to have somewhat disappeared, perhaps replaced by trans gender youths. I am wondering if many of these cases are just the new anorexia. Reacting to teenage body image issues with strong medication and surgery could in many instances be a huge, irrevocable mistake.
The weight-bearing tibia leg bone is subject to stress fracture from repeated compressive loading(s).
Stress fractures are essentially partial, small fracture lines. Without needed-proper rest & with poor nutrition, this only increases the likelihood toward full fracture.
**
I saw or read this. I believe the ballet teacher was a "renowned expert." People mentioned her name in fancy circles with a hush of god-like adoration. She may have been originally from Russia, but was teaching ballet in one of the legendary NYC houses. She was of notorious austere affect.
Her typical first "interview" of prospective female dancers was for the girl to lift her shirt on one side (at top of hip) to expose body flank (lateral abdomen) & lower ribcage. If she could not see, what she deemed, was the requisite amount of ribs, the lady motioned the girl, with a stiff finger, to return her shirt to hip. The girl was informed by assistants, to come back for tryouts, "when she was serious about dancing ballet." (in-a-manner-of- words).
***
I saw this story on 60 Minutes or maybe PBS, ~35 years ago.
Laid-back, older coach of a college (or high school) football team. It was a religious school. They were in a smaller league of competition (not the grand top football schools), but they did compete, & had overwhelmingly a winning record over all. Maybe not 1st place, but always contenders.
Coach's simple football-teaching philosophy:
- No yelling at kids.
- No long practices. They pretty much practiced hard, but only the length of an actual-played game (~ 3 hrs).
- Rest when called for.
- If kids showed excellent enthusiastic practice, they were rewarded with next practice off.
The coach was asked by interviewer, as they sat about the school's field, the interviewer said, "Ya know, I don't see any tackling dummies, or blocking "push-sleds," or trucks tires laid flat for the players to run in to enhance foot movements. What's the deal ?
Coach: I've never seen one of those on a game of play.
****
[paraphrase]
'Some of the worst and cruel teachers, if they are misguided, that you might find, is a modern day highschool football coach.'
Another great piece! But I kept thinking you were going to segue into the social contagion and normalizing of trans gender identities and affirmative care for adolescents by educators, social workers, psychologists/psychiatrists, doctors and more. Adults just jumping on the pronoun and affirmative care band wagon to virtue signal without really doing any indepth research on: 1) the real risks and harms of puberty blockers, cross sex hormones, and affirmative surgeries; 2) the co-occurring mental health challenges many dysphoric youth simultaneously struggle with that deserve our primary attention; and 3) the potential harms of not going through puberty, such as stunted brain and psychosocial development, bone density, infertility, sexual dysfunction and much more.
Without knowing and sharing the inconvenient truths, how in the world can we expect young people to provide informed consent to mostly irreversible medicalization of their bodies? How can doctors follow their oath of first do no harm when they don't do the research and are more incentivized by immediate short term patient satisfaction results and pharma-captured medical establishment incentives than real long term patient outcomes? Over the pandemic increasing numbers of teenagers got caught up in gender ideology over their screens, they then engaged in social transition and sought affirmative care. Now many are desisting or detransitioning and bringing suits against medical care providers who provided gender-affirming care https://www.economist.com/united-states/2023/03/07/legal-action-may-change-transgender-care-in-america
In time, perhaps other youth serving professionals may be held accountable. I hope as this happens more accountability and awareness will be brought to the responsibility youth serving professionals and adults in general have to educate, counsel, inform, guide and protect young people from a place of intelligence, honest integrity and true care.
I danced seriously from age 14 to 28 and was fortunate to have this interest in the context of a large family where you babysat to pay for your lessons and took the bus. Our mom, Lorraine, was no "stage mother." I used to think I could have gone further if my parents had expressed just a little more interest in my classes and performances. They attended when they could, and Dad did record one high school performance and a grad concert I performed in when I entered college. Foot injuries ended my dance career when I was 28. I was oddly satisfied to have danced that long, and by the end be taking the same ballet training as the Paul Taylor Company, Bill T Jones, Mark Morris and other luminaries. My husband was oddly upset when I quit dancing, and by 5 years later, I discovered his cross-dressing habits. He'd been living his "female self" through my dance body. He abandoned us many nights, me and our infant and toddler sons, to do his secret life, believing that the gay bars where he went created the "true life test" of "sex change" guru Dr. Ray Blanchard, who said in 2002, "It's too disturbing to acknowledge that it is a sexual compulsion." The machinations of that world are seeping into every classroom, every club, every sport. I could have predicted it, starting when I discovered my ex was naming himself "Mother" of our sons on the official school documents.
I would never have guessed this happens if you didn’t share it. I’m in disbelief that this is the norm for gymnasts. Thank you. With tears in my eyes, thank you.
Please keep writing on this.
As the coach of a very large state-level successful high school girls cross country team in an affluent community for nearly a decade, I found the prevalence of eating disorders to be like dandelions. They sprang up everywhere, and they multiplied hyper-exponentially. Having once been anorexic myself, I went in with eyes open, well-equipped (I thought) and on mission to help, and still, I got schooled.
Where was the source? Peer pressure? Yes. Social media? Yes. Parental performance pressure (often cruelly vicarious)? Yes. Aspirations to college scholarships? Yes. Latchkey kids looking for meaning & belonging & attention? Yes. Social contagion? Yes. Avoidance of puberty and all its hassles? Yes. An alternative to suicide? Yes, although sadly, some took a more direct route.
It was like trying to hold back the sea.
Ultimately, these young women (and men too--runners, wrestlers, etc.) try to establish their identity (and affirmation) in and by their performance, atoning, impressing, achieving. This is the way of the world: endless mountains to climb--athletics, career, whatever. And then you die.
Christ Jesus says something different. He already did the ultimate performance, on the cross. He already solved mankind's greatest problem, the source of all heartache: alienation and separation from God.
“Come to Me," He says. "all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
All of this. I counted calories. Starved myself. Wrapped myself in plastic wrap and ran or rode the bike to drop weight. As a gymnast, I controlled my weight by over-exercising and under eating. When gymnastics ended, I became bulimic. I told a counselor about my life as a gymnast and she was shocked and stunned by the fact that no one intervened or thought it was crazy. Hell, at the time, I thought it was normal (as you said). To this day, I have body issues. I am 53 years old and still get disgusted when I look in the mirror. And I am not overweight by any stretch of the imagination. Thank you for sharing, Jen. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story, Jennifer. Why do we keep repeating the same mistakes that harm children? Doctors who injected you with steroids then are injecting kids with puberty blockers now. Parents who went along with child abuse then are going along with it now. The Aztecs used to perform child sacrifice to appease the weather gods, now climate alarmists are urging birth strikes and abortions to save the planet from climate change. Despite all of the technology and access to information, hysterias will continue to grip our species.
I will share your story, it needs to be heard! There are so many parallels to what is happening to children today by affirming something that is so clearly not healthy. Thank you for speaking out, your voice is so valuable!!
I remember Donna Strauss telling me my 11 year old daughter was fat because she had 9% body fat. I just laughed in her face. Then I said I’d bring her to her pediatrician and ask him what he thought and if he and I agreed that my 78 pound daughter was overweight only then would we discuss her weight. Of course I never bothered. I knew my daughter was healthy. I fed her healthy foods and she never got injured. In my opinion, the Parkettes’ ownership was skewed on Donna’s view of her own body dismorphia. Someone that obsessed has problems of her own. But, she had no right to shove her own body image problems on children. I also can’t believe that the Safe Sports investigation has taken this long.
I never would have guessed it would be so explicit. It might still be child abuse if it was all done through implicit suggestions, but then I could at least understand how coaches and parents could fool themselves into thinking they weren't doing anything wrong. But how do you call a skinny little girl a pig and not realize that you are doing something terrible?
Jeezy, peezy, this was powerful. I had no idea this was going on. But the parallels are so revealing. Thank you for using your megaphone to protect kids and taking the flack for it. My kids are in their 20s and I don't have grandchildren yet, but keep going! You just may help save my unborn grandchildren!
I was bulimic from 19 to 31. This began in the age of Twiggy. Getting past this and eating normally was THE hardest thing I have ever done. This was before widely available treatment options. It was me and God. Thank you for your story.
Thank you for telling this story. We have to continue speaking out against these harms to our children. I often use the example of eating disorders when trying to show the absurdity of "affirming" gender dysphoria. To no avail yet, but I won't stop trying.
Wow!! Thanks so much for sharing!! Man, the Kool Aid comes in so many ways in our lives.
Do you hear much about anorexia/bulimia behavior nowadays? It seems like the only youth disorder is sex identity confusion. This unfortunately takes the focus away from the other, probably more real and damaging, conditions.
“Don’t let the bastards get you down!!”
From a Chicagoland Fan!!!
Eating disorders surged during lockdowns and school closures. Still very much alive.
https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/eating-disorders-in-teens-skyrocketing-during-pandemic/
It continues with the current corrupt medical and psychological treatment system all in now with promoting and profiting from trans treatment, grooming and mutilations on children. Why I know because my family is trapped in this nightmare with my 16 yo granddaughter who had her breasts removed at 16 last year. She’s a man now? This is just another step in the child sacrifice world of the west now.
Back in the eighties, being anorexic was kind of in vogue. Every camp or school class had a few. They seemed to have somewhat disappeared, perhaps replaced by trans gender youths. I am wondering if many of these cases are just the new anorexia. Reacting to teenage body image issues with strong medication and surgery could in many instances be a huge, irrevocable mistake.
Thoughtful Personal Story.
Should go a long way helping others.
Thank You.
*
The weight-bearing tibia leg bone is subject to stress fracture from repeated compressive loading(s).
Stress fractures are essentially partial, small fracture lines. Without needed-proper rest & with poor nutrition, this only increases the likelihood toward full fracture.
**
I saw or read this. I believe the ballet teacher was a "renowned expert." People mentioned her name in fancy circles with a hush of god-like adoration. She may have been originally from Russia, but was teaching ballet in one of the legendary NYC houses. She was of notorious austere affect.
Her typical first "interview" of prospective female dancers was for the girl to lift her shirt on one side (at top of hip) to expose body flank (lateral abdomen) & lower ribcage. If she could not see, what she deemed, was the requisite amount of ribs, the lady motioned the girl, with a stiff finger, to return her shirt to hip. The girl was informed by assistants, to come back for tryouts, "when she was serious about dancing ballet." (in-a-manner-of- words).
***
I saw this story on 60 Minutes or maybe PBS, ~35 years ago.
Laid-back, older coach of a college (or high school) football team. It was a religious school. They were in a smaller league of competition (not the grand top football schools), but they did compete, & had overwhelmingly a winning record over all. Maybe not 1st place, but always contenders.
Coach's simple football-teaching philosophy:
- No yelling at kids.
- No long practices. They pretty much practiced hard, but only the length of an actual-played game (~ 3 hrs).
- Rest when called for.
- If kids showed excellent enthusiastic practice, they were rewarded with next practice off.
The coach was asked by interviewer, as they sat about the school's field, the interviewer said, "Ya know, I don't see any tackling dummies, or blocking "push-sleds," or trucks tires laid flat for the players to run in to enhance foot movements. What's the deal ?
Coach: I've never seen one of those on a game of play.
****
[paraphrase]
'Some of the worst and cruel teachers, if they are misguided, that you might find, is a modern day highschool football coach.'
~ Jon Rappoport (said many, many, years ago)
Another great piece! But I kept thinking you were going to segue into the social contagion and normalizing of trans gender identities and affirmative care for adolescents by educators, social workers, psychologists/psychiatrists, doctors and more. Adults just jumping on the pronoun and affirmative care band wagon to virtue signal without really doing any indepth research on: 1) the real risks and harms of puberty blockers, cross sex hormones, and affirmative surgeries; 2) the co-occurring mental health challenges many dysphoric youth simultaneously struggle with that deserve our primary attention; and 3) the potential harms of not going through puberty, such as stunted brain and psychosocial development, bone density, infertility, sexual dysfunction and much more.
Without knowing and sharing the inconvenient truths, how in the world can we expect young people to provide informed consent to mostly irreversible medicalization of their bodies? How can doctors follow their oath of first do no harm when they don't do the research and are more incentivized by immediate short term patient satisfaction results and pharma-captured medical establishment incentives than real long term patient outcomes? Over the pandemic increasing numbers of teenagers got caught up in gender ideology over their screens, they then engaged in social transition and sought affirmative care. Now many are desisting or detransitioning and bringing suits against medical care providers who provided gender-affirming care https://www.economist.com/united-states/2023/03/07/legal-action-may-change-transgender-care-in-america
In time, perhaps other youth serving professionals may be held accountable. I hope as this happens more accountability and awareness will be brought to the responsibility youth serving professionals and adults in general have to educate, counsel, inform, guide and protect young people from a place of intelligence, honest integrity and true care.
I danced seriously from age 14 to 28 and was fortunate to have this interest in the context of a large family where you babysat to pay for your lessons and took the bus. Our mom, Lorraine, was no "stage mother." I used to think I could have gone further if my parents had expressed just a little more interest in my classes and performances. They attended when they could, and Dad did record one high school performance and a grad concert I performed in when I entered college. Foot injuries ended my dance career when I was 28. I was oddly satisfied to have danced that long, and by the end be taking the same ballet training as the Paul Taylor Company, Bill T Jones, Mark Morris and other luminaries. My husband was oddly upset when I quit dancing, and by 5 years later, I discovered his cross-dressing habits. He'd been living his "female self" through my dance body. He abandoned us many nights, me and our infant and toddler sons, to do his secret life, believing that the gay bars where he went created the "true life test" of "sex change" guru Dr. Ray Blanchard, who said in 2002, "It's too disturbing to acknowledge that it is a sexual compulsion." The machinations of that world are seeping into every classroom, every club, every sport. I could have predicted it, starting when I discovered my ex was naming himself "Mother" of our sons on the official school documents.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eg0vezEPRJA&t=40s
I would never have guessed this happens if you didn’t share it. I’m in disbelief that this is the norm for gymnasts. Thank you. With tears in my eyes, thank you.
I wrote an entire book about it.
https://www.amazon.com/Chalked-Up-Life-Elite-Gymnastics/dp/0061351474